Articles Tagged with child-centered divorce

In the blog 7 Tips for Putting Children First in a Divorce, I discussed how to have a child-centered divorce and the benefits to children. The other side of the equation is the common mistakes that parents make when they put their needs ahead of the children’s needs. 

1. Parents Making Assumptions that are NOT in Their Child’s Best Interest:

If you don’t purposely and intentionally keep the children’s needs as your top priority during the divorce, they can get lost in the process. For example, some parents recall their own experience as children of divorce and impose their feelings on their children. Don’t make assumptions. While being mindful of the difficult divorce you lived through as a child can make you more empathetic to what your children may experience, remember that your experiences and feelings may also keep you from being open to what would be best for YOUR children. For example, just because you felt that it was too hard for you to move back and forth between your parents’ homes after their divorce, start with a fresh slate, so to speak, and consider what might be best for your children. This not only means considering your kids’ unique personalities, but also the co-parenting relationship you plan to have with your soon-to-be-ex and the possibilities for your new housing arrangements. For your children, going back and forth often between two homes might be better than being away from one of their parents for an extended period. Only after you get advice about your situation and understand what your children need, should you make these decisions.

A child-centered divorce is a divorce where the parents keep the physical and emotional needs of their children as their primary concern. In a child-centered divorce, every decision the parents make is through that lens – How will this affect our children? What is important to our kids, now and in the future? Most parents intend to do what is best for their children, but their perspectives may be different. Wise parents understand that they may not know what is best for their children in this situation because they may not have ever gone through a divorce before.

Here are some tips for putting children first in a divorce to protect your children from the adverse effects of your divorce and to keep their best interest at the top of your list of priorities.

  1. Tell the Children About the Divorce Together: